Vehicular Auditing Misadventures
Monday, October 06 2008 - auditor-stories
Being an auditor for RLD Associates, it is imperative to have reliable transportation. One would think that a person with a relatively new car, and a mechanic for a husband would have no problem with getting from point “A” to point “B”. However, I still seem to manage to somehow get into some crazy car related situation. I've been with the company for almost a year, and have already had two strange mishaps that have been the result of what I call bad “car luck”.
I drive a 2005 Mitsubishi Eclipse, that I bought when it was brand new. It had 11 miles on it when I drove it off of the lot. It never had any problems whatsoever, until it became in integral part of my job as an auditor. I am an auditor in West Virginia who does a lot of “remote” work which entails me driving three hours one way to each audit. The winter of 2007 was particularly bad this year, and I have to drive through the mountainous areas of the state. I also was very pregnant during this time.
The first incident was when I was about seven months along in my pregnancy. It had snowed about a foot the night before, but I felt as though I was going to make it to my audits one way or another. I guess my determination couldn't pull me through because I didn't make it to my audits that day due to what happened. I dropped my husband Billy off at work that day because I wouldn't let him drive his '79 Firebird Trans Am in the snow....he's crazy for wanting to drive a rear wheel drive muscle car in the snow anyway. Turns out I was also crazy for trying to drive my car too (and he gave me a bunch of “I told you so's” after the events that later transpired.) On my way back from dropping him off, my car kept spinning along in the road. It fishtailed everywhere and I got about a half mile before I gave up and pulled over, crying. I contacted the office, and let them know I was stuck and couldn't make the long drive to my audits. I rescheduled the audits from the side of the road, and called my husband to bring the company truck to come get me. He had his supervisor bring him, and he jumped into my car, and drove my car back to my house, spinning out of control the whole time. We made a quick stop at the store to buy Pop-Tarts, milk, and Oreos (hey, I was pregnant!) so I would have something to eat while I was stuck at home.
Well, living in West Virginia, of course I live on top of a hill. After the neighbor helped shovel out the road to the driveway, we finally made it up the first hill. However, we could not get up our driveway, so we parked at the bottom. Billy helped me out of the car and we started walking up the driveway. When we were about 20 feet away, I started hearing a strange sliding sound. I turned around, and there was my car, sliding backwards, by itself, towards a huge cliff type of embankment. I screamed and ran to the side of it. Remember, I was huge because I was seven months pregnant, in dress clothes, and in a foot of snow. I stupidly grab the side view mirror and try to stop the car by holding onto the mirror and sobbing “My car! No, my car!”. I'm sure this was a comical sight. Of course, my pulling on the mirror did absolutely nothing to stop the car's slide towards impending doom. Billy threw the groceries into the air in a somewhat “cartoonish” fashion and ran to the car when he realized what was happening (it took him a moment to absorb what was going on). He made it to the car right as it got to the cliff, and jumped in. I was horrified – I was sure that he was going over with the car. It was like slow motion as I envisioned the horrific scene of the wreck in my head. He kept trying the brakes, and finally the car stopped, the car's back end teetering precariously off of the edge. The neighbor came with their huge four wheel drive truck, and after about an hours worth of effort, succeeded in pulling the car away from disaster. My other neighbor sifted through the snow for my groceries. The car had actually run over the box of Pop-Tarts. It makes me wonder what is actually IN Pop-Tarts because they did not break into a million pieces in the package. They survived being assaulted by a 2000 pound car – and were merely bent. That in itself is kind of scary.
My second car related audit mishap happened when I was eight and a half months pregnant. Yes, I was still traveling and doing audits while I was that pregnant. In the snow. Four hours round trip per day. So, I was doing some audits in the Elkins, WV area, and as I get off of the exit, I smell a strange smell. I just thought it was the beat up looking truck that was in front of me. It smelled like burnt rubber and sewage. I dismissed the odor and continued on my way. I make it to my audit, and go into the accountant's office to collect the information that I need. I came back to my car and started it up. I moved backwards and tried to turn the wheel. The wheel did not turn. I could not budge it at all. I turned the car off and started it up again, thinking this would solve my problem. Again, I got the same result. Finally, the accountant came out and asked me if I was having problems, which I was. I called Billy (who is a mechanic) and told him the car was broken, had no steering, and that he needed to come and get me. The accountant was sympathetic and left a key for me to get into the office if I needed to, because he had to drive somewhere for a meeting.
Since I was eight and a half months pregnant, I was starving (of course). So, I gather up my laptop and audit papers, and take off walking down the road to find food. I had two hours to kill while I waited for Billy to come and rescue me. I walked about a mile down the road with all of my work equipment in tow. Finally I made it to Bob Evans, contacted the office, and then I began to eat and work on processing some audits.
About two hours later, I get a call from Billy. He stated that he was getting off of the interstate, and needed directions to where I was. I was very excited to that he was finally there and went outside to wait. The interstate was only about five miles away, so I didn't have long to wait. After about a half hour, I get another call. Billy was one mile away, however his car had broken down and died as well. He was on the side of the road attempting to fix it. He had just gotten this car, A Ford Escort, from a friend since gas prices are so high and the Trans Am gets seven miles per gallon. Evidently, the friend wasn't a very good one since the car had broken down right after he had gotten it.
After another hour, Billy calls back, and says that he's walking to come and get me because he needs parts for his car before he can fix it. Finally, I see him walking over the horizon and he asks me where my car is. It was a mile in the other direction, so we take off walking again to my car. I was worn out after carrying around the 70 extra pounds of baby related weight for all of those long walks. Billy replaced the belt that had broken (he brought belts from home), but said he knew it wouldn't hold. He explained that the way the 2005 Eclipses were made to have the power steering belt interlocking somehow with the air conditioning compressor. The air conditioning compressor was seizing up and putting tension on the belt until it would break.
So, we got the car (sort of ) fixed and drove to Billy's car. We drove around Elkins looking for a particular fuse that was very rare and hard to find. We found one that would “maybe” work. Of course, it didn't. By this time it was about 7PM, and this ordeal had been going on since before noon. He found that not only was there a bad fuse, but the car had “jumped timing” (whatever that means) and that he could not fix it on the side of the road – he needed major tools and time to fix it.
There we are, with one rigged up halfway working car, and one completely dead car, stranded two hours away from home. Finally we decided we would have to leave “The Pink Nightmare” (the nickname we gave Billy's Escort – it is “supposed” to be red, but looks like a weird shade of pink) by the side of the road. We called the police and let them know that we would be towing it back to Charleston the next day. Billy drove my car home, and it broke two belts along the way. Each time it snapped, he would unexpectedly lose power steering while going 70 miles per hour down the interstate. It is a good thing that he is a good driver (he used to drive dragsters). We got home, VERY late. Billy got a shorter belt and rigged the car to work with power steering by bypassing the air conditioning compressor. The car then ran, but with no air conditioner. Not really a problem in the middle of winter.
The next day, Billy's dad had to bring his wrecker truck up from Oak Hill, WV to Charleston (an hour and a half drive) and then to Elkins (another two hour drive) to get the Escort. They towed it back home, and the ordeal was over. He fixed “The Pink Nightmare”, then gave it away. My car did not have air conditioning until summer, since the compressor could not be fixed, and the part was prohibitively expensive.
My daughter was finally born on March 6, 2008. I worked and traveled until the week before her birth.
She loves to ride in the car.
HS-R